Photo by Dan Page, published in Time Magazine, September 17, 2007.In this week’s issue of Time Magazine, there is an article titled “Words Don’t Mean What They Mean” by Steven Pinker. Read the article at this link:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1659772,00.html
For your comments, write a brief summary of your reaction to the article. Read what other students write. Notice the variety of reactions.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1659772,00.html
For your comments, write a brief summary of your reaction to the article. Read what other students write. Notice the variety of reactions.
25 comments:
I thought this article was fantastic. It's so true that people hardly every say what they mean, or what they really want to say. All to often people are scared of hurting others feelings or having what they say being rejected. A friend of mine and I were just recently talking about this. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation. I have a word for day to day conversations, fluff. They take up a lot of space but have no substance. But it's obvious why meaningful conversations are so hard to have, because there has to be a certain amount of trust within the people talking to each other. Also you have to be able to understand each other, know that someone won't get offended by an off hand comment you make. I think it's kind of sad because you'd be amazed at how someone else's perspective can change how you look at the world, and yet that doesn't happen every day.
If everyone said what they meant and meant what they said the whole world could have its cake and eat it too. Unfortunately I don't see this happening in my lifetime or the next, but it's nice to think about. This article hit the nail right on the head. People are so worried about stepping on toes with their words that they side step and beat around the bush to the point of wasting unimaginable amounts of time that could have been spent enjoying the weather.
I think that there is alot of truth in this article. Why can't people just say what is in their brain just waiting to be blurted out? If a girl would ask me, "Ryan, do I look good in this dress?" Depending on how she actually looks would be the determiner of my answer, but either way I would say she looks amazing. I didn't just say that to be nice and maybe get a shot at dating her, but I said it because I don't think I could say "No, that looks like crap!"
The article was great. There is a lot of double speak or mixed messages in communications (and I've been on the receiving end of them). Every one and a while I will have to ask someone what they mean in order to actually understand what they've just said.
What an interesting article I can really relate to what they were talking about. Unfortunately I don’t see in the near future people saying exactly what they want to say instead of doing the walk around with some verbal communication but mostly non verbal communication. Anything any one says could be miss interrupted by in one they person is talking with or just a person walking by over hearing what is being said. People need to take charge in this world and step up to the plate and speak their minds. Say what you want to say regardless if you make fun of some one or hurt some ones feelings. They will get over it as soon as people get over their fear of saying what they real mean.
I do not think this article had anything to do with wanting to have people say what they mean and mean what they say.From what I gathered it was more of describtion of the many ways we have to put on our poker faces in our daily lives.If your in the habit of showing all the cards your holding your not very good at poker.Honesty is all well and good but i'll take mine in small doses.Say your the boss at work and in order to have a project finished you tell Joe Smoe that he needs to stay at work later then usual. Old Joe Smoe, knowing that you just messed up his diner date complies because it is his job, does so while grinding his teeth.While working along side Joe you notice some tension in his attitude, you ask, "is something wrong?".Those of you that feel it best to be honest and say what mean lose your job for telling the boss how P.Oed your are.The rest of us just save face and say,"oh nothing it's just been a long day",just finish the work,go home and try to change the diner plans or reschedule.
There are some many situations in our daily life where saying what we are really thinking would just make things harder on ourselves.
I really loved the article. I completely agree that people never say exactly what they mean. I'm actually trying to work on that. My mouth gets me in trouble more than people think. I'm learning to communicate better because I am engaged and have marriage counseling, but aslo because of this class. People really don't realize sometimes how much their words and attitudes effect others. The author was fantastic in getting the point across, and keeping the reader engaged. Empathy really helps in saying what you mean. Some people like to hear what you are telling them in a certain way, and others just like it straight. Through empathy we can know how others react to our use of everyday language.
I agree with this article that people to not usually say what they mean. The people who do speak their minds are viewed as troublemakers or idiots, whereas, the ones who sugarcoat whatever it is they want to say, are looked at as understanding, nice, or intelligent. As hurtful as the truth can be, it is a far better route to take than to lie. Saying what someone wants to hear does not help the individual you are communicating with in the long run. You cannot build your relationships on a shaky foundation, at least not the ones you consider worthwhile. Sugarcoating your words is doing just that, building a shaky foundation. One that I believe will crumble in the long run. Telling the truth and looking at things from a different perspective is a good thing, and at the very least, it would generate some amount of understanding. By accepting people as individuals with different ideas, thoughts, and opinions, you will be less disappointed with what is being said. Not everone will agree with you on certain subjects, don't treat it any different when it is someone else you do not agree with.
I thought that the article was very interesting. I think that even if you say what you mean, there are many people who may take it another way, or they could know exactly what you are talking about. Communication is all about perception. Even if everyone said exactly what they meant, there are still others that will get a different meaning from it.
“Perils of Language” is a very interesting way to show that words have very different meanings. I believe that when we are communicating with friends, family, co workers, and persons of the same gender, we tend to use different words than when communicating with strangers. The way we interpret the meaning of the word is affected by whom we are communicating with. According to the article this problem has existed for hundreds of years and will continue. This is a great example that language is symbolic, with its meanings found in people not in words, and is governed by rules.
You can relate so many of life’s scenarios to this article. Whether you are in a business meeting, speaking to clients, talking with relatives or speaking with friends we can all recall a situation where this has happened. Honestly, how many times have you thought how much you would LOVE to tell the person you are speaking with the absolute honest truth, but don’t because either we don’t want to hurt their feelings, or think it best to just be polite and leave well enough alone.
On the other hand, I think we do all want the truth. But, we want the “warm and fuzzy version.” Criticism is a hard pill to swallow and sometime the truth is NOT what we want to hear. Even though the truth, as they say, “could set you free.”
There is a correlation between truth and reality, but we have to be very open to receiving, sharing and processing both to learn and grow.
I thought this article was interesting because people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say. Sometimes you have to know the person to understand where they are coming from. When you are talking to someone and you don’t understand what they say it makes it harder for you to comment back.
SLANG SLANG SLANG!!! People these days all have assumptions of what someone else is getting at. Coffee=SEX Just because it was used in a movie or in a book or whatever doesn’t tell us if everyone thinks of it as the same thing. How are conversations going to be had when one person is thinking complete opposite of another? These actions really do speak louder then words, this happens by saying something wrong at the wrong time. Mixed messages are being sent even if the ment it in one way, no one can really "think" alike in the type of scenarios given in the article.
Language can be very different depending on the person and where they are from. What the different words mean to them. Like my boss is from India. It’s neat to hear her talk on the phone to her family in her native language.
I thought this was a very interesting article that I cant say I have really sat down and thought about until now. It is very true how it is not a wise thing to just say what you think. I believe one part of why is simply how our culture and norm of society views politeness. We all learn from a young age to be polite and not just blurt out what is on our mind and say/ask people something in a “direct” way such as I interrupted this reading.
I thought this article had many good examples of how people do not understand others in conversations. There can be many different ways people can interpret the language. It can be in a buisness setting, or an everyday conversation. I personally do not always understand what people say to me, either if they are joking or not. There are some situatons that you just don't know how to react to.
I thought this was a great article. This article was true in so many ways. Everybody communicates differently. The way you communicate and the words you use to communicate depend on the setting. The Seinfeld eppisode is a prime example of this. Coffee of course meant sex. Everyone knows that. But thats just it, you are not going to blurt out lets go have sex! It depends on where you are and who you are talking to.
I thought the article was very true. If everyone said what they meant and meant what they said, it would save a lot of hurt feelings. It would also save a lot of time, if people would just get to the point of what they are saying! Although if everyone did that, I think communicating would be boring.
This was a very interesting article for me. I supervise 13 other staff. I am learning that to supervise well a person needs to use language well.
I have always been a straightforward person in my communications. At present this is no longer working well for me and the reasons relate to what the article was talking about.
When an employee is on the phone repeatedly there are different ways that you can handle it. You can gather evidence and confront them with their non work phone usage. You could also walk into their office and say”Oh, you’re on the phone, I’ll come back later:. If need be you could do this two or three times. Most people would get the idea. You have allowed the individual to save face without a formal counseling session.
Mastering the art of communicating while allowing people to save face is a sophisticated means of communication . I am trying to learn this in the workplace. I have diverged from my thoughts on the article to how this article applies to me. I enjoyed it and found it well timed for me.
The article was very true. A lot of people do not say what they mean. People like to “beat around the bush” so they don’t hurt someone’s feelings, but people need to come out and say what they want. They shouldn’t feel embarrassed or bad about what they said. Some times people lie and don’t say what they mean because it would be mean, but the truth does hurt sometimes. I’d rather have someone come out and say what he/she means verses fibbing about it. The world would be better if people would say what they mean instead of hinting around at it.
Why don't people say what they mean? This was a question asked in the article "Perils of language" and a question that I would like to know to. I do believe people to speak there minds to the people they are more comfortable with, I know I do. There are many things I would never say in front of other people, but for example around my family I wouldn't have a problem saying. Sometimes you could say something and someone could have a totally different meaning for it. It is kind of like when I say "Hey Guys" girls may take that to offense because I am sayings "guys" instead of "girls" but it is just the way I say hey, and people will think of things totally differently. Someone’s perspective, to my perspective, to someone else’s could all be different, some could be the same, or they could all be the same. It just depends on the topic at had and how each person perceives it in there own way.
This was a good article, and it is so true. You have to bee so careful these days about what you say, how you say it and specifically who you say it to. I feel especially bad for guys when they use pick up lines, because if they say the wrong thing to the wrong girl, they could end up being considered a sexual preadator. It really makes you think about what you say in your day to day conversations, and just what words you use with who.
I thought the article was great. Society has many different ways to communicate. A lot of people say what the think they should instead of saying what they know they should. Also people say the words but they mean it in a different way. Even myself I have said something and meant it in another way. It is difficult to understand some people just by the tone of their voice.
I feel that this artilcle is completley true. I feel that if we all say how we feel that the world would be a better place. I think that there would be less broken homes, less parenting issues less mis-communnicatio problems. Everything eventually comes out anyway, so why no tell how you feel. That is how I feel.
I really see the pros and cons to this article. I think sometimes you really need to just say what you mean but other times I think an inside lingo is a good thing in this day-in-age. Candy coating your words I think is very important when say you are at a wake. You don’t want to say something like “I think he was a good guy” but rather say “I think he was a really good person to be around and I will miss him more than anything,” Now which one would you want to here but both mean the same thing. It is the same as, “Pass the salt” compared to “Would you please pass the salt.” Again, which one would you want to hear? I think this person made some good points and some not so intelligent points.
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